Today was the first day of 7th grade for my kid.

It’s not the first day of middle school — that was last year, when I felt the bittersweet ache of realizing this kid was no longer my little baby. And it’s not the last year of middle school either — that milestone will come in 8th grade.

On paper, this is “just another school day.” We already know the campus, the expectations, the routines. We still have more time before moving on to high school.

And yet… it still feels big.

Why This Stage Feels Emotional for Parents

Every school year is another reminder that our children are growing up. My child is one year away from becoming a teenager and only six years away from college. Every inch of growth, every first day, every birthday means I am needed a little less in certain ways.

And still — this kid seeks out hugs when sad or excited, loves to tell me stories, and enjoys spending time together. Also, in true middle school fashion, tells me I “don’t understand this generation.”

We’re both in transition — the kid is becoming more independent, and I’m learning how to let go while still being a safe place.

The Emotional Conflict of Parenting Middle Schoolers

Parenting during the middle school years can feel like an emotional balancing act:

  • Pride in their growing independence
  • Sadness about how quickly time is passing
  • Joy in watching them discover who they are
  • Fear of letting them make mistakes

These feelings are normal. But they can also leave parents wondering: Who am I now? How do I care for myself when I’m not as “needed” as before?

How to Let Go While Staying Connected

Here are some therapist-approved strategies for navigating this stage of parenting:

1. Create Intentional Space

Give your child room to solve problems, make decisions, and learn from their mistakes. Then be available for support afterward.

2. Redefine Your Role

You’re moving from manager to mentor. Think less “in charge of everything” and more “trusted guide and cheerleader.”

3. Reconnect With Yourself

Revisit hobbies, friendships, and passions you may have set aside during the early parenting years.

4. Set Healthy Emotional Boundaries

It’s possible to feel both sadness and joy at the same time. Holding space for both emotions helps you — and your child — transition more smoothly.

5. Prioritize Your Own Self-Care

Working out, spending time with friends, or seeking your own therapy isn’t selfish — it’s essential. When you take care of yourself, you model healthy independence for your child.

How Therapy Can Support Parents of Middle Schoolers

Knowing these steps and actually living them are two different things. Therapy offers more than just a listening ear — it provides practical tools and perspective.

A therapist can help you:

  • Process the mix of pride, grief, and joy that comes with watching your child grow
  • Explore your identity beyond parenting
  • Learn communication strategies that work for tweens and teens
  • Build healthy boundaries that allow both of you to thrive
  • Rediscover a sense of purpose and connection in your own life

If you’re struggling with the emotional transition of parenting a middle schooler, you’re not alone. Working with a therapist can help you navigate these changes, strengthen your relationship with your child, and rediscover yourself in the process.

Because as our kids grow, we get to grow too.